Lying Awake, thinkin about what it.....

Im up for the 2nd night in a row and cant sleep. One cause my youngest seems to have a fever, so i gave him some medicine and, thank goodness, he is sleeping sound now! Two cause Im still in pain from moving and packing up my house! :-) So i decided to hop on here cause I was thinking about alot of stuff....I look at my kids and think about how blessed I am to have them in my life. I got married and started having kids at 19. Some people think thats too young, others think its great to start when your young so you can grow up wit ur children. Me, I think a little bit of both. Sometimes instead of feeling like a mother I feel like one of my kids at times. I have been so many places, done alot of things, and experienced alot growing up. But sometimes i feel as if there is a whole part of my life that i missed. But that road I didnt take, was it really necessary?! And who knows what kind of path i would have taken if I hadnt had my first son or I hadnt chosen to get married. Im always afraid that a part of me will just break out and go crazy teenager on myself, but I keep myself togetherz, try to atleast. I dont think it hurts to go out with the girls every now and then or with friends and go dancing and movies and things like that. Others have a different opinion on that, some think im selfish for wanting a social life outside my houshold. So what do I do about it? Hmmm...I try to utilize time for me to have "mommy" time at home..but have no clue what to do half the time, so my "mommy" time consist of just sitting on my couch staring at the wall...besides cleaning my house! :-) So my suggestion to others that seem to go thru this weird dilema im going thru...Find balance! Because without balance in your life the scale will lean to much to one side and you will lose yourself!So im gonna try to find balance, in my marriage, in my life, and especially within myself.