Lying Awake, thinkin about what it.....

Im up for the 2nd night in a row and cant sleep. One cause my youngest seems to have a fever, so i gave him some medicine and, thank goodness, he is sleeping sound now! Two cause Im still in pain from moving and packing up my house! :-) So i decided to hop on here cause I was thinking about alot of stuff....I look at my kids and think about how blessed I am to have them in my life. I got married and started having kids at 19. Some people think thats too young, others think its great to start when your young so you can grow up wit ur children. Me, I think a little bit of both. Sometimes instead of feeling like a mother I feel like one of my kids at times. I have been so many places, done alot of things, and experienced alot growing up. But sometimes i feel as if there is a whole part of my life that i missed. But that road I didnt take, was it really necessary?! And who knows what kind of path i would have taken if I hadnt had my first son or I hadnt chosen to get married. Im always afraid that a part of me will just break out and go crazy teenager on myself, but I keep myself togetherz, try to atleast. I dont think it hurts to go out with the girls every now and then or with friends and go dancing and movies and things like that. Others have a different opinion on that, some think im selfish for wanting a social life outside my houshold. So what do I do about it? Hmmm...I try to utilize time for me to have "mommy" time at home..but have no clue what to do half the time, so my "mommy" time consist of just sitting on my couch staring at the wall...besides cleaning my house! :-) So my suggestion to others that seem to go thru this weird dilema im going thru...Find balance! Because without balance in your life the scale will lean to much to one side and you will lose yourself!So im gonna try to find balance, in my marriage, in my life, and especially within myself.

Motherhood

Today was an okay day for me. I woke up sick as a dog still only to find out that my husband is not feeling too well himself. So, once again nobody to take care of mommy. So I did everything today with a headache bodyache, sore throat, and stuffy nose! :-) But hey, whos complaining (*all fingers pointing at me*) But I got a visit from a good friend for a while today, and she helped with taking care of the kids a littly bit...which she always does and takes some of the anxiety of my chest! Theres so much that needs to be done this weekend at our residence, like we are preparing our house to move out, moving into our new place, yard work cleaning house, and there is also a funeral! So we have to be out by the end of the month. So we will see how everything pans out.But lets see something more enlightning...my kids!! My oldest is 3 and he is just getting words and sentences together. So its been pretty interesting listening to his "conversations with people" We are trying to potty train him, but he is terrified of the toilet. So any input on that subject would be greatly appreciated! :-) My daughter is one and is sweet when she wants to be! Other times she is a linebacker who trys to tackle everyone in sight! My youngest is 10 months. He has a little attitude, but has the sweetest spirit. I know i keep contradicting myself! Lol but my kids have the best personalities! And are a joy to watch *wink* lol just kidding. Im thankful to be a mother, its been a rollercoaster of emotions but i learn new things and is growing up with my children! I couldnt ask for a greater blessing then these little spirits running around and yelling in my house!! :-) And with another on the way it keeps getting better and better! Well sleep time for the children. Be back on when i can!

New To This Blog Stuff

So im New to all this so as for my first post I figured I would let you know somethings about me..

My name is Tatiana
Im Married
I have 3 beautiful children
I come from a family of 6
Im the 2nd to the youngest
Im half Tongan half caucasion
I work for the airlines but im terrified of flying!
I am LDS and I love my religion, but there are things with the church i dont agree with.
I love practicing my photography skills i just wish I had a desent camera.
I want to go Sky Diving, but I have to not be pregnant.
Ive been pregnant for most my marriage...correction my WHOLE marriage.
I love being on stage, but i hate the preparation for it!
My favorite drink is Dr. Pepper
My favorite food is any kinda meat.
My biggest pet peeve is tags flipped out of shirts, pants, etc.
I miss my long hair.
My worst feature, i think, are my legs, i think their too big for my body!
I have only had 2 other boyfriends besides my husband!
I want a tattoo but dont want to get one in fear of my kids wanting one and asking a million questions!
If i could eat at a restaraunt for free forever it would be Chilis!
I dont have alot of friends, but im very close to the ones that i do have!
I think you have to love ur family members, but u dont have to like them..some atleast!
There is alot i want to do in life but have to wait til after i raise my kids.
Well thats pretty much my life in a nutshell!! If i think of more i will add it! Enjoy and i will see to post when necessary,