Love Your Friends

I have come to learn that you cannot always be there for people. Trying to be a good friend has been a 

challenge. I like to think that I have been the best friend to my little circle of friends that I have. We are 

works in process and continually changing throughout life. There are friendships that belong in 

different places and at different times, with different versions of who we are. To demand that a 

friendship continues past its rightful time can be an attempt to turn it into something it isn't, which is to 

take away from what it is. Sometimes the only way to get to have a forever friendship is to let it go in 

the form that it was and allow it to take on the form that it needs to be -- all the while holding it steady 

in your heart.We don't have the happiness always residing beside us and the sadness to also never 

separate from us. We should stick by our friends side. We should always have them in our lives so we 

can share whatever with them, always keep them in our hearts forever.

Loving someone is never wrong .It's a great and amazing thing to love and be loved. Why would it be 

wrong? To love your best friend is such a great power among us all. Trusting, caring, and being there

 for each other is apart love. Never put down love, it's the way we evolve and become stronger and to 

know there's always that one special friend by your side, well that is apart LOVE. 

(love is a hard emotion to define)

Truth...

So it has been since the beginning of the year since I have updated my blog on whats going on in my life. I know you all were just DYING to know. HAHA This year has been probably the most testing and challenging year so far for me. I thought last year took the cake, but I was totally wrong. I don't think anything has tested my faith and my patience as much as this year has. EVER!! There are things/people that make me the happiest person. Too bad those things and people just like to stay anonymous in my life. I respect that in some events... others not so much. Hey what can you do? My family has been the best supporters so far. I recently left my uncles house and I can't express how much I miss my uncle, aunt and my nieces. There is not a day that passes where I wish I was around them 24/7. They have been my rock for the past year. I guess people have to grow up sometimes. I have made the greatest friend I could ask for this past year. I stay grounded and sane because of that.

My days are empty without my kids. I find myself sitting at home not wanting to do anything with my time outside of my household with out them. I count down the minutes until they are back from their dads house. and the weekends he has them makes it feel like forever. They are the only hope I have in my life at the moment. Everything I do I do for my children. I wish I could be half the woman my mother was being a single mom and raising all of us. Still to this day taking care of all of us. 

My faith has dwindled and hope is fading. I can be honest and say I am sure I do not try as hard as my am able to. My long talks with my aunt opens my eyes to how much I have taken for granted and how much I feel sorry for myself for not living up to the expectations of myself. Everyone needs that one person who doesn't cater to your feelings and just tells you what you need to hear to get your butt into gear. How many times does she have to kick me in the butt to get my crap into gear. The people close to me usual know how strong I am. But I think I put up a good front just to keep from the lectures. I especially love my kids and family and unconditional love my few friends with everything that I have. Bear with me my loved ones. I will get my act together.

Ofa Atu